I smile to myself, thinking back to the start of my online journey. Hmm, online dating is an entirely different world to reality. There seems to be two types of sites: the long-term-relationship (think: “find the one”), and the other being casual relationships. Assuming the latter was sex only, I joined a site promoting “quality relationships” and was surprised to find so many normal sounding people in the same boat. It quickly became obvious after emailing and chatting some potential suitors, there was an over abundance of similar aged men seeking to replace their no longer alive wife or recently departed spouse (to greener pastures) , with someone who cooks cleans and shares their bed. Not for me thanks. I wrestled with my profile several times hoping to portray what I was seeking, wondering at the same time: do I even know?
The first man I became interested in was my age, lived close by, told me he had been online for several months and had been divorced for five years. Add to this a managerial position with a National company (intelligence hopefully), had an excellent grasp of vocabulary (many can hardly string a sentence together), and seemed quite the catch. He had indicated he was not a “Serial Dater” (unlike myself, i was later to learn) so things were looking promising so far.
We chatted, sms’d and spoke by phone enthusiastically for about a week, then decided to meet for dinner. There was naturally a little of the sexual innuendos, but less than I expected, so that was promising. I hoped.
I chose a lovely restaurant I frequent regularly, and felt knowing most of the staff was a bonus. I felt quietly optimistic as we seemed to have established a fairly decent rapport, and this was, after all, my first actual date! Out of character, I purposely arrived ten minutes late only to find he had been held up in traffic.
I sat at a small table, perched somewhat nervously, drinking water…waiting..wondering…will he like me? Will I like him?
I recognised him as soon as he came in.. his photo clearly taken several years ago on a good day. When I caught his eye I noticed he quickly scanned me up and down with a smile, so my time spent deciding what to wear clearly paid off.
Easy, flowing conversation followed which was surprising considering how nervous I felt initially. My appetite had vanished so we skipped entree and ordered mains, though only managed to consume about half . Do others experience this, I wondered?
A couple of red wines later, the sexual innuendos ramped up, and it seemed obvious there was an attraction. I was determined to resist, after all I did not wish to appear easy (as my mother would say) so switched to water. I wondered what he would be like in bed, and sensed he was thinking the same..hmm.
We passed on dessert, had coffee and more discussions on the differences between the male and female thought processes. We had also discussed travel, kids, families and work. Was it wrong I was feeling strangely aroused while still trying to maintain an intellectual conversation about my adult children?
Time to leave.. I tried to pay half the bill but he made a fuss so I reluctantly allowed him. I always take a cab in case of being over the driving limit but more for safety and independence. I lived nearby so had walked on this occasion. He offered to drive me but we walked home hand in hand. He was aware I would not ask him in and that’s exactly what happened. Yes he could have done otherwise but chose to be decent. We kissed goodnight (and a lovely kiss it was) then reluctantly said goodbye.
I walked inside thinking “Wow!” and reached for my mobile to text him thank you, knowing he had already done the same. We sms’d as he walked back to his car and continued with phone calls throughout the week.
We met again the following week for coffee and returned to my house for coffee and ME. I poured wine, lit the candles (possibly a female thing) and we had a lovely time getting to each other intimately on my couch. The sex was good but not earth shattering, though at the risk of sounding vain, he wasn’t complaining either!
Work commitments and family issues, all part of life , got in the way of catching up for several weeks. We did speak regularly and caught up again at his house. We felt comfortable with each other and whilst the conversation was still good, somehow we both knew it wasn’t to be an ongoing relationship.
We still speak or SMS every now and then and have an arrangement if we want to catch up we will until either of us find something else ongoing. Some may believe this is not the way to do things, but we are both single and it’s nice to have companionship now and then. I now regard him as a very close friend, as does he.
A positive outcome for a first date i believe. Feel free to comment good or otherwise .. I hope your first Date is or was as good .
Confessions of a M.O.D (mature online dater) is a continuing saga of ongoings interspersed with some funny and not so positive accounts of one woman’s online dating experiences . Her aim is to provide some insight into the mechanics of the online dating world for mature adults…