Starting out online dating can be both exciting and daunting.
It’s an entirely different world compared to real life. Often viewed as somewhat desperate and dateless, nonetheless, there are benefits along with downsides.
Remaining anonymous can be a definite advantage, obviously for those choosing to cheat on their partner, however many enjoy the opportunity to chat to others and ” get to know” prior to meeting. Others may not be comfortable meeting in bars and clubs and may not have social circles to meet others, hence the growing popularity of online dating.
For some it can be easier to show a more confident personality online, and be comfortable, and can be a good way of easing back into dating after a relationship ends. There may be a tendency to display a more enthusiastic attitude than in real life. There is also less feelings of being judged – up until the exchanging of photos of course!
Then comes the time to actually meeting up.
The build up whilst emailing and chatting can cause some to adopt an entirely different persona. Many times I have chatted to men who portray online, a very confident, outgoing nature, than they actually possess… I often wonder why … Perhaps it’s more positive and feels better to sound how they would wish.
Confessions of a M.O.D online dating tip 3: Don’t believe everything your Date may claim to be online. If you do, expect disappointment when meeting for the first time.
Occasionally, a case of mistaken identity can even occur! I’ve come away thinking is this really the man I’ve spent hours chatting with enthusiastically…getting to ” know “….only to discover his personality is quite different!! The one who seemed exactly what I was looking for: Where did the GSOH disappear to? That confidence and effervescence?!! . Possibly first-time-meet nerves, which hopefully lessen as the night progresses and a drink or two kicks in. Perhaps some may think the same of me, yet I endeavour to be myself.
The key to attracting others online initially, is to provide an interesting opening line and an honest descriptive profile.
You’ve only got one chance to catch their eye, so make it something unusual. Be upfront. Tell it like it is. If all you want is friendship, say so. Likewise if you are wanting more, be more specific (Says she who wrestled with her profile a few times!).
To photo or not to photo? Statistics say “there is an 80% better chance of success by providing a photo” . Personally, I’m not sure how accurate that is – I’m in the 20% and have met attractive interesting men who also had no pic. It can be awkward if the online rapport builds quickly, only to discover the photo exchange just simply didn’t work! (Always disappointing to discover the photo sent was taken ten years earlier! Come on! Who are they kidding?). I suppose some believe posting pictures of sunsets, their dog, (ex?) girlfriend (not cropped from the photo too well), cartoons, group shots, may be better option than no pic.
Confessions of a M.O.D online dating tip 4: Nude faceless body shots do not appeal to women as your chosen profile pic.
Above all else, Safety is of utmost importance when meeting, no matter how wonderful this new person seems:
While I’m the first to admit I need to practice more what I preach, it’s wise to :
- Arrange to meet somewhere public, cafe or bar (for a quick getaway if necessary) or a restaurant.
- Always offer to pay half to avoid any expectations.
- Organise own transport to and from meeting place (I opt for a taxi to avoid driving if not over the limit )
- Provide details of location and timing with a close friend (I like to have an SMS and phone call prearranged )
- Always practice safe sex, and choose a hotel, rather than their place.
- Ensure your mobile phone is fully charged.
If the meeting is not going anticipated, ie nothing in common, you hardly recognized them (old photo perhaps ?), the conversation is akin to pulling teeth, or for any of those other reasons you want a quick getaway, the “I have an early start in the morning ” usually works.
There’s a world of interesting people out there just like you and I. Remember – If they sound too got to be true, they probably are!
Keep an open mind, stay safe, have fun, and remember you just never know!
Confessions of a M.O.D (mature online dater) is a continuing saga of ongoings interspersed with some funny and not so positive accounts of one woman’s online dating experiences . Her aim is to provide some insight into the mechanics of the online dating world for mature adults…