Confessions of a M.O.D (Mature Online Dater) 7 – The random search


Another day, another perfect excuse to check out my favourite dating site.

For a change, I decided to do a “Search” and was presented with 373 potential matches! I narrowed the distance criteria to the minimum, which returned 59.  After skimming through the first dozen or so I was about to give it a rest when the next profile looked interesting.

His photo showed an attractive, cheeky looking,  mature man, with thick well cut grey hair, wearing a red shirt and a great smile. He was slim, 6ft and looking for friendship.

He had written a comparatively long well crafted profile and we seemed to have similar tastes in movies, books and music and slant on life.  He sounded quite intelligent which was a definite plus in my book and had a decent sense of humour.

I thought his profile “name” had a cryptic reference to an old English TV show so I took a stab in the dark and a made mention to it in my response – which thankfully for me, turned out I was correct.

After a few days of sending messages to each other, this led to the exchanging of photographs, and ultimately the swapping of mobile numbers.

Plans were made to meet in the upcoming days.

He suggested lunch and asked where I’d recommend ..  It was not difficult to choose my favourite city restaurant again… I gave him details, he booked and we were set for the following Saturday at 1:00pm.

I was excited as I picked out what to wear for our Date.  As usual the same questions continued to go through my mind – “Will we like each other? Will the conversation flow?”.

In the end I decided on worn jeans,  black heeled boots, a white round necked top and a blue linen tailored jacket.  I felt confident as I’d had a haircut early in the morning (isn’t it funny how since I’ve began Internet dating I visit my hairdresser more than ever!)

I walked along the boulevard, in the sunshine, past the many restaurants which face the river..I spotted him immediately, sitting on a bench near the grass opposite our restaurant. He looked identical to his picture ( as opposed to those who chose to display one taken ten years earlier). He wore a crisp white shirt, jeans and black RM Williams boots. He looked up, gave me a smile and winked.  He stood, picked up his black leather jacket, gave me a kiss and a big hug.

I had called ahead to request my favourite table out the front be available.  Great for people watching, and viewing the activities along the river (definately an  advantage if the conversation is slow or stilted). I nodded to three of the staff I knew, who also had become aware of why I ate there with a different man on most occasions!  My friendly barman always gave me an encouraging nod 🙂

We ordered white wine, and a large Charcuterie platter, and settled back relaxed in the sunshine.

The conversation flowed easily, as we got to know each other, comparing previous dates, discussing current affairs, holidays ( past and future ) ., books, music, work, family, friends. I sensed we both knew this would not be our only meeting.

Wow ! This man was fascinating to talk with, plus I did enjoy his humour.   We were holding hands across the table by this stage and mirrored each others body language.

The staff were attentive and seemed pleased we are still there four hours later.

The sun was setting now, casting long shadows along the river.  Nearby old leafy trees sparkled with twinkling fairy lights. Ah yes very romantic!  I wondered if he felt as happy as I did. Looking back, whilst we felt a physical attraction, the stimulation to our minds seemed more important.

We had two Irish coffees, then decided it was time to go.   Coming back from the bathroom I discovered he had already taken care of the  bill, as he was waiting outside. He point blank refused to allow me to pay, so I made a mental note to cook him dinner soon….

I noticed the time :  it was 9:00pm … Wow!  … An eight hour lunch!

We walked the boulevard holding hands, in that “comfortable silence ” , found a quiet spot on the grass, near the water. It seemed natural to sit, leaning back against him, watching the lights on the water. The night air was still, as I turned to kiss him. I’m unsure how long we kissed but can say I was oblivious to the surroundings.  It was one of those soft gentle ongoing kisses, slight pressure, easing back, tongues skimming. We pulled apart, and just as I was thinking this was Mills and Boon territory he grinned… ” This is stuff movies are made of!”.

I would have liked to continue to get to know him more intimately, but obviously this was not his intention as he suggested we make a move, asking if I needed a cab home ? !!!

He certainly did not appear tired or intoxicated.  I wondered if I did not appeal to him?

He ordered me a cab, gave me another beautiful kiss, and wished me a good night saying he would call. I text him, thanking him for a beautiful lunch, afternoon tea and dinner. (Shame there was no dessert after we left the restaurant).

I still was not sure how he felt , apart from knowing that we did relate in a very positive way … and would see each other again….

I noticed I was humming as I made a coffee later.

Fast track to the present: I’m happy to say we have become very close friends and will remain so. We speak or SMS every fortnight or so.We’ve shared dinners, watched movies at the cinema, DVDs at home,enjoyed live bands, drank and laughed with his friends and now share a close relaxed relationship.

I’l admit we have slept together several times, and whilst we both enjoyed ourselves, our friendship is more important to us.

He has never married or had children and is happy to remain that way. His independence is what makes him who he is, though  I would be lying if I said I hadn’t initially entertained the idea of being with him long term. We have discussed this and agreed we like things  how  they are:  that we can see each other … sleep together naked in his bed occasionally and either hold hands, beside one another or spoon.  We know there are no expectations between us.

..Hmm ok.  Some expectations (ie desires) on my part –  but not as much on his .  🙁

Ms M.O.D.

Confessions of a M.O.D (mature online dater) is a continuing saga of ongoings interspersed with some funny and not so positive accounts of one woman’s online dating experiences . Her aim is to provide some insight into the mechanics of the online dating world for mature adults… 

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